A diplomatic row of sorts has broken out between African countries and China over the supply, of all things – hold your breath – ‘condoms’. Rejection of a consignment of ‘cock- socks’ by African countries has annoyed China no end. What was once viewed as an innocuous piece of latex has gained prominence to destabilize the international relations . That apart , the way this ‘Gentleman’s jerkin’ has scaled the ladder of importance over the centuries is simply mind numbing. What used to be a mere piece of linen, sized to cover the glam of the tool and tied with ribbon, once upon a time, are now almost being customized for customers. The object of unavoidable necessity has under gone metamorphosis, to say the least . From being purchased in hush-hush tones, without any eye contact , over the counters ,at a nearby medical stores, to being home delivered. From being merely protective barriers to being ribbed, dotted , spotted , scaled , scented and – ‘hold – your – tongue , ‘edible’ etc they have made their presence felt not only within the four walls of a bed room but are now omni-present to be found in every nook and every kiosk . From being used as shower caps, to store water ,to drain the plugs, this rubber has diverse applications .Recently , an international reporter was observed using it to cover his mike while he stood reporting for an event, when it was raining! Incidentally , in slang , it is also known as a ‘rain coat’. For people who are simply not content with the ‘feel’ there are “ Glow –in- the –dark”condoms now. Anyway, my concern now is not the progress made by the condoms but its ability to shake the established international relations. China is threatening to suspend trade with African countries till they accept what they rejected. The unilateral action by the African countries has not hit the Chinese economically as much as it has devastated their ego and self esteem, Africans are now worried about the ramifications of disturbing the dragon. As a face saving formula, African countries now want China to at least yield an ‘inch’. But, that is ‘too long’, say the Chinese. By the way , you know what was the issue surrounding the ‘Jimmy Hats’? They were too small for the African standards !! Means, when it comes to “ down there“ , the Asian Giants just don’t measure up!! From being a ‘pleasure enhancer’ to being a ‘game prolonger’ the condom has definitely come a long way. The world gratefully acknowledges that the ‘latex barrier’ has grown in ‘stature’ but the Chinese are stubbornly stuck in ‘size’ !!
( The story is imaginary and the subject is sensitive , reader’s discretion is advised!! )