Conflict Over Condoms!!


A  diplomatic row of sorts has broken out between African countries and China over the supply,  of all things  – hold your  breath – ‘condoms’.  Rejection of a consignment   of  ‘cock- socks’  by  African countries has annoyed  China no end. What was once viewed   as  an innocuous piece of latex has gained prominence to destabilize the international relations . That  apart ,  the way this  ‘Gentleman’s  jerkin’  has scaled the ladder of importance over the centuries is simply mind numbing. What used to be a mere piece of linen, sized to cover the glam of the tool and tied with ribbon, once upon a time,   are now almost being customized  for customers.  The object of unavoidable necessity has under gone metamorphosis, to say the least . From being  purchased in hush-hush tones, without any eye contact , over the counters ,at a nearby  medical stores, to being home delivered.  From being merely protective barriers to  being ribbed, dotted , spotted , scaled , scented  and – ‘hold – your – tongue , ‘edible’  etc  they have made their presence felt not only within the four walls of a bed room  but  are now  omni-present to be found  in every  nook and every kiosk .  From being used as shower caps,  to store water ,to drain the plugs,  this rubber  has diverse applications .Recently ,   an international reporter was observed using it to cover his mike while he stood reporting for an event, when it was raining! Incidentally ,   in slang , it is also known as a ‘rain coat’. For people who are simply not content with the ‘feel there are  “ Glow –in- the –darkcondoms now.   Anyway,   my  concern  now is not the progress made by the condoms but its ability to shake the established international relations.  China is threatening   to   suspend  trade with  African countries  till they  accept what  they rejected.  The unilateral action by  the  African  countries  has not hit the Chinese  economically as much  as it has devastated their ego and self esteem, Africans are now worried about the ramifications of disturbing the dragon.   As a face saving formula,   African countries now want  China to  at least  yield an ‘inch’. But,   that is  ‘too long,  say the Chinese.  By the  way ,  you know what was the issue surrounding the  ‘Jimmy Hats’?  They were too small for the African  standards !!  Means,  when it comes to  “ down  there“ ,  the Asian Giants just don’t measure up!!   From   being a  ‘pleasure enhancer’  to being  a  ‘game prolonger’  the condom has definitely come a long way. The world gratefully  acknowledges    that the   ‘latex barrier’   has grown in  ‘stature’  but  the Chinese are stubbornly stuck in ‘size’ !!

( The story is imaginary and  the subject is sensitive , reader’s  discretion is advised!! )




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