The Spouse Suspects!!



 A wise man had said centuries ago; a lady expects a husband before marriage, suspects him after marriage and respects him when he is no more. I am not sure if all the souls have sinful desires and natures as highlighted by Vatsayana in his chapter on ‘parakiya-rasa’ in kamasutra. However, while a wife suspects her husband after marriage is known and understandable, how long after the marriage is the question. Suspicion is OK, but is she justified in suspecting, with the same intensity, for eternity? The other day, I was merely browsing through an issue of Woman’s Era that was lying uncared on the center table. Just as I was leafing through, I opened the page, which read, “Four Zodiac Signs that are woman’s favorite”. Although I am wading through the worst times, just out of curiosity, I was itching to check if mine was in the ‘desired list’. I am on the cusp of Pisces and Aries, hence, usually end up getting the worst of the both! But, we are all governed by ‘time’ and ‘chance,’ and few good things come along the way even when passing through bad times. Keeping aside the non-essentials, as I prepared myself to read through, my wife came and plonked herself next to me to watch the TV. Now, I was in a dilemma whether to continue to read or postpone it for a while. Like most women, my wife has multiple sights, can effectively watch the TV and also keep an eye on her husband, simultaneously. My heart was itching to continue, but my mind, the sensible of the two, was cautioning not to continue. I was torn between the two options, should I or should I not bite the bullet. If I skipped reading, I was risking, and if I continued reading, I was risking more! Then, I stuck to that ancient wisdom that while passing through a bad ‘time’, it is not worth taking a ‘chance.’

But, that left me with the same old question, why should wives suspect? A friend (male) of mine, a ‘sangeet-rasika’, attends many of the concerts with me. His wife rations him just five hours for any program that he has to attend: Two hours for traveling and three hours for attending. In between, he has to send her the pics of the program to assure of his physical presence amongst the audience.

Psychologists refer to this suspicion as a ‘Delusional Disorder’ or ‘delusion of infidelity’. Delusion of infidelity is famously called the Othello Syndrome, after the famous Shakespearean character, the guy who murders his wife as a result of a false belief that she has been unfaithful. It is also a type of delusional jealousy: It is about suspecting a spouse who is otherwise a fiercely faithful partner!

I am talking about the friend who accompanies me for the concerts: Many are incapable of such a transgression!!


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